Dating after ending a relationship
I only saw what I wanted to see and denied the rest. So, I didn’t have huge faith in my instincts or my judgement. Many are like I once was, terrified of dating again. Unsure if they can trust their judgement and scared of another abusive relationship. One posted some text messages from a guy she has recently met online.
I’m engaging with many victims and survivors of domestic abuse online.
Once I stopped projecting onto him and watched not what he said but what he did.
It is possible to break the cycle and find a healthy long-term relationship after an abusive one.
Both showed me respect and treated me as worthy, not worthless.
The further down the road you go with a narcissist, the harder it is to get away from them.
The same is true for when you meet someone who is good for you, like I did with the man I am married to now. Not just sitting back and observing the man he was showing himself to be.
Once we’re drawn in deep enough, another side appears. Denying those that were screaming at me that this relationship was no good for me. (I’ve created a whole new category for them on here). It doesn’t allow for your partner to ask you all the questions they’ll have, or let you know how they feel about your decision.Unless it’s completely unavoidable, try to end it in person. He’d suggest I wear different clothes, or that he didn’t like my friends. I was seeing only the things that confirmed my dream of a wonderful life with him. My ‘baby girl’ can be beautiful in a loving relationship. My ex revealed his true self early on with his actions. Whilst he told me he loved me one minute, he’d erupt in anger and disappear for days the next. That’s because I was projecting onto him who I hoped and wanted him to be. The man he was revealing to me, but whom I was choosing to be blind to.